


Threads

by Semi_problematic



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blushing, First Crush, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 12:54:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16118903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: Sam looked afraid. Jack hated knowing he was the reason.Sam chuckled. Jack was happy he was the reason for it.





	Threads

Jack stood in his room, staring at himself in the mirror. Blood surrounded the holes in his shirt, but there were no wounds to match. Dean wanted him dead, but Jack wanted himself dead too. Castiel and his mother both died and it was his fault. Everyone believed he was bad and he was just born. He had to be bad, right? Why else would everyone be so mean to him? 

“Go ask Sam for a new shirt.” Dean's voice carried down the hallway. “I'm sure he has some to spare.” Jack could hear him sigh and continue down the hall. “I can't believe we got stuck babysitting…” 

Jack looked down at his hands, then up at himself in the mirror. He took a deep breath and lifted his shirt up, studying his stomach. He was part angel, but angels were supposed to be good. Lucifer was bad, but he was an angel. That could explain why everyone believed Jack was bad. Jack looked around the room, contemplating getting another weapon and continuing to hurt himself. 

Jack walked towards the door, peeking into the hallway. Once he was sure Dean was gone he started to walk towards Sam's room. He traced his fingers along the stone walls, looking all around the hallway. The bunker was huge and there were many rooms Jack had yet to see. The world was so big and he wanted nothing more than to look at it. Then again, it seemed to be very scary. Filled with monsters and fear and death. 

“Sam?” Jack called, shivering each time his feet touched the cold floor. “Dean told me to come get a shirt from you. A-a new one.”

Sam didn't look up from the book he had in his arms. He was laying on his bed, his back pressed against the headboard. “What happened to the one you're wearing now? Did you spill something on it?”

“No.” 

Sam closed his book around his thumb and looked up at Jack, gasping. “Oh my god.” He laid the book on his bed, climbing out of it and rushing towards Jack. “What happened?” Sam tugged the shirt up and ran his hand down Jacks stomach. “Are you okay?” 

“I wanted to know why I didn't die today.” Jack whispered, stepping closer to Sam. It felt good to be close to him, to be touched by him, but Jack didn't know why. “I got a knife and stabbed myself over and over and-” Jack looked down where Sam's hand was. “Each one healed after bleeding for a few seconds.” 

Sam looked afraid. Jack hated knowing he was the reason. He wrapped his arms around Jack and held him close, rubbing his back. “Jack, no matter how curious you get, you can't do that stuff to yourself-”

“I was angry.” Jack replied. “I'm not supposed to be alive.” He had taken so many lives already and he had only been alive for a few days. 

“You are.” Sam cradled Jack's face in his hands. “You are supposed to be here. Kelly and Castiel both wanted you here. I want you here. I know-” Sam took a deep breath. “I know how it feels… to feel like you shouldn't be here, but you should be. You gotta… you just gotta find a reason that makes you happy to be here.” He smiled at Jack, pushing his hair back. 

“Okay…” Jack looked down at the floor. The inches between their bodies were too big. He wrapped his arms around Sam again, burying his face in his neck. “You make me happy to be here.” 

Sam chuckled. Jack was happy he was the reason for it. “I'm glad I make you happy.” He kissed the top of Jack's head before nudging him into his room. “Let's get you a new shirt, okay?” 

Sam walked over to his closet while Jack stood near the door and looked around Sam's room. He had only seen a few glimpses inside when he passed his room or when Sam showed him around the bunker. Being inside was different. It was filled with books and closes and small things that Sam seemed to collect. Jack loved being inside new places. It meant new things to look at and learn about. He was born knowing so much but also knowing so little.

Sam tossed a shirt on the bed and walked towards Jack. He put his hands on his hips, then on the skin beneath his shirt. Jack blushed dark, staring up at Sam. Sam said something Jack didn't pay attention to and pulled the shirt off of Jack, tossing it into the trash can.

“Did I ruin it?”

“No.” Sam replied, picking up the new shirt. “But it has bad memories with it so we don't want to keep it.” He handed Jack the shirt and smiled at him. “So… did Dean see you doing this?”

“Mhm.” Jack pulled the shirt on, smiling to himself. It smelled like Sam, which reminded Jack how safe it felt to be around him. He wished he could sleep in Sam’s room. “He took the knife from me.”

“Good.” Sam sighed. He seemed relieved. “Did anything else happen that you want to tell me?” 

Jack thought about Dean's threat and how it made his insides feel gross. Scared. Like when the angels came to the police station and attacked Sam and him. Jack was still learning how to label emotions. “No.” Jack walked towards Sam's bed and sat down on it, picking up the book Sam had been reading. “Can I stay in here with you?”

Sam looked up at him, smiling. “Yeah…” He walked over and sat down next to Jack. “Of course.”


End file.
